I want instant service. I want it right, and I want it now. I want it because I know you can give it to me, if only you wanted to, but because you're difficult you won't.
I want cooperation, and I want it now. Who made up all these rules, anyway? You? Why do you want to hurt me so? What'd I ever do to you that you'd want to do that to me?
I deserve to have something astounding, and I'm not sure why you think you can pass off that latest version of dreck as something new and improved.
You can't make a mistake, have a bad day, be subjected to a technology slowdown, have other customers waiting, because I expect more. I expect it now, and I want it now.
Could you please, and I'm only saying please because I've been told it's polite, but I really shouldn't have to be polite to get what I want and DESERVE, so this little nicety should really put me at the front of the list, and why haven't you given me what I want yet?
I am but a deserving innocent consumer in a world stacked against me, and why can't everyone else just get with the program?
I'm just asking. If it were up to me, which of course it isn't, because what is? Nothing, I am a victim of this cruel and incompetent world where everyone else, at least all those people I don't know, are for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on, not cooperating with my agenda.
I know what's best, and I know what you need, and I know what I need. A good swift kick in the pants, that's what you need. And me? I just need what I deserve. I don't have time for human limitations, and I shouldn't be expected to endure them.
So just give me what I want, give it to me now, and it better be right or you're gonna pay, yes you will. I'll tell everyone how horrible you are, and you'll regret the day you messed with me.
Not only does the world revolve around me, but I am subjected to such an assortment of ill-mannered, rude, incompetent, needy people it's a wonder my head doesn't explode with the injustice of it all.
Oh wait. I think I hear the sound of . . . something's happening . . . is that my head imploding? WHY ME?