Sunday, November 21, 2010

What happens . . .

if the Zombie Apocalypse comes? Those are the sorts of questions my husband asks me during a quiet late afternoon. 

I suppose, if it comes down to it, we will suddenly regret our aversion to guns. Not that we haven't used guns. I'm a crack shot with an M16 (assuming there's a co-conspirator next to me shooting at my target), and charming husband once or twice went hunting when he was an Alaskan. Bu the closest thing to a gun in this house is a plastic replica of a musket that comes in handy for being a pirate. 

We aren't real pirates, so a fake musket works just as well as anything else.

Zombies are the new anti-heroes. I'm sorry vampires, but you've had your day. And what did you do with it? You squandered it. No one has any respect for vampires anymore. You're not even scary. Being scary stopped when you decided you sparkled in the sunlight. Really? Now you're more like love obsessed fancy boys who can't keep up your vampire ways when some human girl comes around, as if you haven't seen a million of those before. It's every girl's dream, to be so irresistible even a vampire will change his true nature for her. If we can do that to a vampire, imagine what we can do to a run-of-the-mill human drunk. 

Human girls, now that's a scary subject. But let's not go there either.

So zombies it is. I'd do a rewrite of a classic and incorporate zombies into it, but it's been done. So how else can I make money off the zombie craze? Maybe I can make zombie key chains. I hear those are big sellers.

Maybe I should just plan for the ZA. Then again, I'm not great at planning for emergencies. I'm better at just letting them happen to me. . . and then I swing into action. I am fabulous when given an emergency to work with, but it has to be real, and it has to be now. Otherwise, I got other things to do.

So I'm prepared, vaguely, with my plastic musket and my ability to swing into action. That'll have to do.


  1. That sounds like Andy. Who I have now know 21 years and never recall a hunting trip. Lots if fishing. Uncle JIm was the hunter. Now me I love things that go boom (Like guns) so I'm the Colver that would be your safest bet to be with. The biggest gun dad ever had was 22 rifle. That is now mine and he got when he was a boy scout.
    I still like my sparkly vampires. Ok my not so sparkly vMpire like this one chick back in Dracula time that would bath in her young maids blood to jeep looking young. No lie look it up.

  2. He's apparently been keeping things from you.

    How am I going to survive if the ZA happens and you're up there while I'm down here? Looks like a problem to me.

    Oh, I believe you. I always believe you. ALWAYS.

  3. You have a huge advantage... 2 big dogs. They could do a lot to zombies. Just so you can feed yourselves and the dogs, you should be fine. Hmm.. Will applebee's be open in the event of a ZA???

  4. True. I fear not about Applebee's however. They're right around the corner, but I'm not sure they can adequately protect themselves.