Monday, January 4, 2010

Beautiful People Only Need Apply

While looking over the open tabs on my browser, I notice this one:

Well, I have about 14 open tabs, and for some reason I'd clicked on this sometime today, no doubt because I saw it somewhere, and never actually got back to it. But there it is, in all its glory.
I love the quote by the site founder, who shall remain nameless since he's obviously a fool: "Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which was founded."

Gosh. Heavens, don't let the fatties in. I assume this is some sort of dating site, one which adheres closely to the standards of the day. At least, the standards of the day as decided by the members of the site. Not that they would let me in anyway, since I'm only beautiful on the inside, but I wouldn't want to be a member of something that bases its opinion of people based on how they LOOK.
This is the way I see it. It's nice to be beautiful. It's helpful in many regards. Beautiful people have advantages. This is true. They get to be on TV more often. I, for one, would be fabulous on TV, but because I'm not beautiful, well, my chances are drastically lowered. People don't flock to me hoping that my gorgeousness will rub off on them. (Such a loss for them too.)

On the other hand, physical beauty can change AT ANY TIME. Yes. And get this: RANDOMLY. You (not you personally, of course -- perhaps you are beautiful, but I'm not talking about you) can be beautiful one day and the next day . . . not so much. You can, for example, be hit by a bus. (I think I used this recently in another blog, but that does not mean it doesn't work.) A bus hitting you in the face might ruin your good looks.

You can get old and droopy. You can get smacked in the face by an out-of-work ugly person, jealous of your beauty, which could result in extensive damage to your perfect features. Perhaps you need stitches across your perfect nose. Whatever. We're human, and frightfully delicate.
And then there's this: physical beauty does not translate into being someone people want to be around. Maybe you're beautiful inside and out. It happens. Just as it happens that some people are ugly inside and beautiful out. Beautiful inside and ugly out. Ugly in and out. All combinations are possible.

Please don't send me pictures of your spectacularly beautiful intestinal tract. You know what I mean.
(You do, don't you?)

Here's the cool thing: if you're beautiful on the inside, it peeks out, sort of like . . . like a radiator inside a small room will also heat the exterior of the room. At least I'm assuming it does. I'm not an expert in HVAC. It shows in large and small glimpses, and it sits on the outside of you for everyone else to see, if they're of a mind to look.

If you're beautiful only on the outside, it's all on the surface, and when push comes to shove, as it inevitably does, this being life, your facade will crack and all will be exposed, and everyone will know.

And then we will shun you for being ugly.

Oh, and we won't let you into our exclusive clubs, where we let people in based on who you are, now what you look like.

I'm just saying.

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